Lummi Bay, Bellingham
"Can I get a hallelujah? Can I get an 'Amen?'" The weather in the Pacific Northwest is at least TRYING to show it's on our side for reaching any sort of season that resembles summer and I am here for it! Kris and I haven't had a girls weekend in at least...surely it has been multiple eternities. I'm sure of it.
We headed to the coast of Northern Washington, this stretch of beach is called Lummi Bay. I was surprised how gentle the waves were, if at all present, since the San Juan Islands absorb some of the crashing waves from the Pacific Ocean. In typical PNW fashion, it was sunny when we arrived and poured rain for the remainder of our stay until just before we left. But we still had an awesome time!
This adorable AirBNB felt like an old coastal bunker, made entirely of cement brick slabs and a metal roof (allowed for the most peaceful ambiance listening to the rain fall). The entire side of the home facing the ocean was made up of windows- something I hope to have someday in a home of my own. Kris and I like to make use of the entirety of our space, which was chock-full of seating options. We joked that we could've sat at a different table, or in a different chair every hour of our trip and not sit in every seat available to us! Only a slight exaggeration.
First things first: explore the space. Look at every single trinket and inside every drawer. Expand and spread out own belongings to fit said space. If you know, you know.
Next, we set to work making our tray of snacks and wine pairings. I've decided I now have a thing for decorative trays. Kris brought an amazing patio wine: "Bombing Range White Wine" from Eastern Washington and it was just what we needed on this warm, oceanic Friday afternoon.
Stepping outside, I had the feeling of emerging, like a small bear cub from my den for the first time, into the sunshine, to find fresh air and freedom. I was in awe of the ever so slight changes in cloud formations in the sky and demanded new photos of the view just about every 5 minutes.
We had the best time journaling, walking the beach, picking up shells, admiring the blooming rhodies, bird-watching, and even kayaking during a thunderstorm! When it really got going we paddled like mad for the house! We made our own natural mosquito repellent out of essential oils- stay tuned for if it is effective or not.
Do you ever think about getting more photographs of you doing something you truly love?
Every single year, Kris and I draw a year-spread of our spirit animals, where a card is drawn for each month of the year to come. This is my spread for June 2020 through May 2021 and the center card represents the theme for my entire year to come. We've done this every year for the last 3 years and honestly I'm not sure how I kept my life on course without it. Each card gives a general idea to think on for the month and something to work towards to help you achieve a greater sense of balance in life.
The FROG is my spirit animal for the year and it represents clearing, cleansing and rejuvenation, avoiding burnout and less being an over-functioner. A reminder to take care of myself! It feels so perfect for me right now that it's almost laughable.
We found it interesting that we were at the beach and several of my cards for the coming year (and our card of the day) were water animals.
The oyster is a perfect theme for our girls weekend because it encourages sharing of your innermost, authentic desires and dreams, which was a big mantra for us throughout our time together in the beach-house (and in life, really).
One of Kris' strengths and things I admire about her, is that she's always holding herself accountable for her choices. She's always asking herself if her daily actions are leading her ultimately to her biggest vision for her life. She's always asking, "is this what I still want for myself?" And, if it isn't, she's re-writing the goals and modifying the action plan.
I think the most important part of making these frequent check-ins with yourself a bigger part of your routine is first creating awareness. It's becoming aware that you either feel like a decision or action is a catalyst towards reaching your big goals, or it's leaving you stagnant and metaphorically broken down on the highway. Some of us are so busy we don't even always notice and become aware. It is key to catch ourselves in these moments when we are not making measurable gains towards our biggest desires. And, just to note, it's OKAY to not act on these moments of awareness if you don't want to, because you make the rules. Or you can shake things up- it's up to you and there's so much freedom in knowing that. Once we have awareness, it's easier to say to ourselves, "is this what I still want? Is this feeling something I like? Do I want to continue down this path?"
And my favorite new quote right now on this topic is from Jacki Carr. When you're questioning if something is still right for you, say:
"We should check!"
I think Kris and I have been feeling more of an urge to seek something greater in our day to day lives than just flail around on the hamster wheel. In our 20s we had the structure of finishing our undergraduate degree, getting our Masters degrees and beginning our careers to propel us through this decade. That was great for our 20s, but what do our 30s bring? I'm glad you asked- let me tell you: they are bringing a desire for fine-tuning and to gain clarity, not just around what we want, but what would really light us up?
What are the things that you know that you absolutely CANNOT pass up in this lifetime? What are the things you don't want to miss out on? You can call them bucket list items, but I think what I'm referring to are more than bucket list items. When you really allow yourself to dream and think about it (we'll get to more on that in a minute), what sounds impossible but you sure hope is possible?
What does your most abundant, plentiful, and rich life look like?
Forget about money (although, that is a part of abundance), what does the day-to-day look like, what are you doing with your time? Who are you spending time with? Stop right now and think about it for even just 30 seconds.
Now, is that what you're doing right now? If the answer is 'yes', I am impressed! Send me a message and give me some tips! If that's a 'no' or a, 'not yet,' then you can sit with us over here at the wooden patio table drinking wine and figuring it out real-time.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I like to use the collective "we" when talking about getting things accomplished or identifying ideas about ourselves. You know why? It's because as humans we like to feel like we are a team, a pack, a family, a group, a herd...we are in this thing together. We sometimes feel lost when we feel alone on anything. That's why I said, "we should check," when referring to re-assessing whether some decision or step is right for us. This does not mean always asking all your friends and family if they think you are on the right track making the 'right' decisions, or if you are making the 'right' choices for you- only you know what's best for you.
What I AM referring to, is the idea that we are all on our journeys side-by-side figuring out what's best for us. WE are all checking-in with ourselves, and sometimes it's helpful to know that you're not alone. And if saying to myself, "WE should check," helps me, or anyone, feel better about moving forward on anything that's next for us individually, then it helped! Especially if it's moving forward on the big, dreamy, glowy, gooey, good stuff we keep thinking about.
Now, I didn't forget. I said I'd get back to the topic of dreaming. When I think about day-dreaming, I imagine laying in a grassy patch of dandelions or clover (maybe a few gentle bumblebees buzzing around) and, with my eyes closed, imagining some of my most magical thoughts and dreams. Who has time for that as an adult? I'm lucky if I can get my wet laundry in the dryer in time, or eat my avocado in the 10 minute window it has for optimal ripeness. With the busy lifestyle that a lot of us lead, it can be hard to even get quiet enough, or relaxed enough, to actually block out all the background noise. Our brains are often like our iPhones, with 86 tabs open at any given time and our to-do list is ruling our lives. So, we might say we are too busy to dream, we don't have time. We might say that dreaming is for people that have their lives together already. Some of us may even feel some guilt about taking the time out of our days to fully dream because we have so many other 'more important' things to think about.
But, hear me out. What if you truly allowed yourself to dream? And that dreaming led to a tangible result, big or small. And you led by example, and someone else, or maybe several people and eventually their friends and children noticed, and that inspired them to do some dreaming.
That could be kinda cool.
And, even if we rewind to just the part where we are the ones just doing the dreamwork and seeing the tangible results. That could be pretty wild, huh? Can we all agree that we'd love to dream up some mega-caliber dreams and see them come to fruition? The ones that we thought initially would be impossible?
I believe that we are better people when we are dreaming, because, when we are dreaming, we are hopeful. We are positive, happy, inspired and we make choices from a place of abundance instead of lack. We make more loving and thoughtful choices.
When we occupy this space of hope and inspiration, we often sense a level of mastery over what we desire to accomplish. We feel like we are in the drivers' seat...and that's an important place to be.
This feeling is available to all of us who make the conscious decision to dream.
I told you how some of us are sitting and drinking some wine on the patio trying to get our act together on the dreaming front and possibly even re-learn how to dream from childhood. I'm not an expert, just thoughtful, and some days that's just enough.
All I know, is that working in a skilled nursing setting with people often in the geriatric population, I am constantly in the presence of 2 types of people. First, the kind that played it arguably too safe and tell me of their regrets, what they wished they had done when they had their health, strength... you fill in the blank. There's a tone of longing and a hint of sadness in their voices. Second, there's the people who tell me their legacy, their wildest stories, while I sit on the edge of my seat, wide-eyed and asking, "what happened next?!" They say things like, "yep, I don't know how we did it, but we did!"
You get to decide which camp you want to be in. Working with these individuals who have so many years of wisdom, and hearing their stories, allows me to constantly evaluate if I'm doing the things I want to be able to tell stories about to all the kids several decades from now. Note: they don't always have to be wild stories, they just have to be what YOU want.
When something is what you truly want, your energy shifts and you light up in a way that inspires others. Did you ever have a professor, teacher or mentor that changed how you looked at a tough subject, or one you initially found agonizingly boring? Did you ever read a book that you thought you'd never get through but it ended up surprising you? The individuals behind those moments had some level of passion behind their actions, words, and intentions.
Somewhere along the way, I think I forgot how to dream or prioritized it waaaaaay lower on my to-do list. Like, so far down that I couldn't see it on the list anymore with everything else that made the cut. I also think I got some seed of doubt planted somewhere that dreams don't always come true and it's just luck what cards we get dealt. I'd rather be the person, though, that went out there and asked for what I am most hopeful for. I'm vowing to re-learn how to dream again and make conscious decisions to create time for dreaming, putting myself in the driver's seat and make sure that someday I'm sitting in the soft, wrinkly body that took me all the places I wanted to go, experienced the things that I most deeply desired to experience, and left a legacy that richly encourages others to dream. I am also filled with gratitude for the people and experiences that are associated with my earthly footprint to date.
I wish this same thing for you, too.
I mean, it couldn't hurt, right? Could it hurt to set aside a few minutes to dream and just see where the wind takes us?...
June 2020.